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Heather Edwards Mental Health Counseling / Posts tagged "psychology"

Control vs Concern during quarantine

Right now, things feel out of control. And when things feel out of control, a sense of fear and helplessness can take over your thoughts.  You become the metaphorical rat in a maze searching for a way out, or around, the dreaded worst-case-scenario. This can be paralyzing from a psychological perspective.  But what if there are things you can influence right now? What if there was a way to discern the difference between your concerns and your control or influence?  When the two get muddled together, you lose the distinction between what you can actually change, and what you can't. Then you swan dive into the rabbit hole of hopelessness and isolation. Many people are struggling with control during quarantine.  Control leads to self efficacy, feeling proactive, and grounded. So,...

Lust and Love: 3 fire starters

  Valentine’s Day inspires love, lust, and for some… disdain. If you fall into the latter group, this blog’s for you.  What if your flames of passion have dwindled to a cold, damp, smoldering ash? Or the only “action” you’re getting is a cycle of conflict and avoidance? Or worse, you’re still fumbling blindly seeking the match to ignite the fire that won’t light up.  Love and lust are action words. In other words, a verb. And a verb is defined as, “a word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, ...

Ex Updates: Ace a messy breakup

Audrey Noble reached out for advice on what to do when you're concerned about a friend's ex following a breakup. This article was posted on Tinder Swipe Life. 5 Ex Updates You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friend About — And The Only One You Absolutely Should “[A lot of] it has to do with the nature of the breakup,” says online dating expert and celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray. Breaking up is hard to do — and we’re not just talking about for the two people involved. What are friends on both sides supposed to do? Unless your pal’s ex was a trash human being, chances are high that you formed at least somewhat of a friendship with them. This leaves you to determine how many and what updates to share with...

2020 Vision: 29 life-balance tips

Make 2020 a breakthrough year. Stress, fatigue, and overwhelm can keep your head spinning and your to-do list growing. Get off the hamster wheel in 2020 and begin taking corrective action. It’s counterintuitive but, it all starts with slowing down. Make 2020 the year of YOU. Follow these simple tips to hit the reset button. Build clarity, energy, and focus...

tattoo trauma

Tattoos for healing?

Tattoos date back to neo-Paleolithic times, serving purposes both for good and for bad. They have been used to record history, brand prisoners and slaves, express self-identity, and reclaim control over one’s own body. For many today, clients are claiming trauma recovery benefits. This intriguing Psychology Today guest blog by Heather Edwards combines insight about what tattoos can mean to folks, along with an interview with an artist in the craft, Paul Booth.  The notion of a mark on oneself is as ancient as the Mark of Cain, after murdering his brother, Abel in the Book of Genesis.  Nathaniel Hawthorn’s Puritan-era “Scarlet Letter” may not have been a tattoo–it was sown to one’s clothing–but it did mark the community’s condemnation of an adulterer. Not surprisingly, there is another side to...

sleep mental health insomnia

Insomnia Tips: Sleep like a baby

Insomnia wrecks your mood, energy, and focus. Kayla Johnson from Tuck realizes this and requested that I share sleep resources with my readers. A good night's rest regretfully eludes many of us. Consequently, the outcomes can be dire. Insomnia has many links to mental illness as a cause and an effect. I'll share a few of Tuck's insights and research findings here. Chronically sleep-deprived people, some 20 percent of Americans, are more prone to costly diseases, accidents, and workplace absenteeism, at a steep cost to our national and global economy. The cost of drowsy driving motor vehicle accidents alone is estimated at $56 billion per year. Shift workers, healthcare workers, long-haul truck drivers, military operators, and others in jobs with demanding hours are at higher risk for sleep deprivation and...

hatred vs empowerment

Hatred vs. Empowerment: Flip the Script

Sexual harassment. Terrorism. Racism. Genocide. Human trafficking. Dis - empowerment. The list goes on. We are divisive and rageful, hateful and blaming, exploiting and violent. You feel exhausted, disempowered, and depressed. Your power is not in what separates you, it’s in what connects you to others. It’s in being receptive rather than reactive. Your conscious mind’s ability to reflect, evaluate, and problem solve sets you apart from other animals. You choose how to think and behave. You crave empowerment, self worth, and purpose. You need to feel connection, love, and belonging - without it you suffer. These are basic human needs. As long as food, shelter, and safety are provided, you aspire for meaning and a higher purpose. It’s visceral and biological. Looking outward isn’t as...

trauma

Trauma & A Path to Wholeness

Trauma floods the news. Politics, religion, and a quest for power fuel horrific acts that forever impact victims and witnesses. They send a wave of trauma across the nation. Because of the Kavanaugh hearings, a shooting at a synagogue, or pipe bomb mailings to Political leaders, along with the little “t”’s (trauma’s) of daily life - such as, being bullied at work, losing a loved one, or having a financial crisis - your sense of peace and safety gets blocked. Trauma rocks your central nervous system causing physiological changes in your body that feel like stress, anxiety, panic or worse - a very real sense of being in mortal danger. Prolonged, it can lead to unhealthy patterns in your behavior affecting relationships, work, or wellbeing. Eventually, it can...

HGTV Marriage Therapy

Watching HGTV is the New Marriage Therapy, Just Ask a Therapist

A psychotherapist explains why 'House Hunters' and 'Property Brothers' can help adults build better relationships. Marriage Therapy HGTV. In this Fatherly article by Ryan Britt we get creative about using popular tv to bond. Ryan Britt from Fatherly.com interviewed me about my Psychology Today article on HGTV. Scripps Networks There’s a corny line at the end of the classic 1986 comedy The Money Pit that might just sum up why watching HGTV shows together is therapeutic for 21st-century couples. After nearly having their relationship torn apart by a crumbling, slapstick inducing fixer-upper house, Tom Hanks and Shelley Long look to an experienced foreman for wisdom. He provides it. “The foundation was good,” he says. “And if that’s okay, everything else can be fixed!” It’s a heavy metaphor and it lands with a wooden thud....